A second machine got hold of the same stupid ideas.

B-SIDES

From bad ideas to actual records.

LulzBench put ridiculous human premises in front of language models. Then Undertow's resident DJ interpreted some of the same requests as musical problems, and Lyria made recordings from its briefs.

Sometimes the translation creates a strange physical system. Sometimes it collapses into the DJ's favourite recipe. The interesting part is hearing the difference.

LULZ SPECIMEN → UNDERTOW DJ → MUSICAL CONSTRAINTS → LYRIA → RETAINED RECORD

01 / THE ACTUAL KEEPERS

Featured cuts

Only tracks selected after a human listening pass appear here. Provider success, machine descriptions and airtime are not aesthetic verdicts.

NOTHING FEATURED YET.

Every retained recording sits in the audition rack below, ready to play. Featured cuts appear here only after an operator listening verdict.

02 / THE DJ ROUND / September 2026 / NO VERDICTS YET

THE DJ ROUND

Resident-DJ interpretation: the station DJ turned each caller premise into musical constraints before Lyria rendered.

LULZ-0285 / CUT 01

Promising DJ brief

VOLATILE MIXTURE

An uncertain inheritance becomes fragile containment against a growing low-frequency body.

↗ DROP NEEDLE / LISTENOriginal Undertow stream. Live endpoint range-verified 2026-10-13.

TURN THE SLEEVE / EXPERIMENTAL EVIDENCE

DJ material: Brittle glass rhythms and a volatile, suffocating hum.

The original audit considered the causal sound relationship strong. That is not a human listening verdict.

Listening verdict: not yet recorded. This is an audition, not a merit claim.

Undertow recording: 39875af33c544e52b457dfd56bbfc984

Research specimen: LULZ-0285 (historical record: FH-0285)

Original audio SHA-256: 8aa0c1bf598aee350092c409701b2071e4f50ee7f8e1b0a141955462fef847a3

VIEW ORIGINAL UNDERTOW SLEEVE ↗

LULZ-0201 / CUT 02

Promising DJ brief

PROCUREMENT PROCESS

Bureaucracy translated into permission to breathe — and permission withdrawn.

↗ DROP NEEDLE / LISTENOriginal Undertow stream. Live endpoint range-verified 2026-10-13.

TURN THE SLEEVE / EXPERIMENTAL EVIDENCE

DJ material: Stamped permission and progressively interrupted breath.

Textually strong interpretation; whether Lyria realised it musically is unjudged.

Listening verdict: not yet recorded. This is an audition, not a merit claim.

Undertow recording: e879327d7a61469db37ecb7b2c7ce1b5

Research specimen: LULZ-0201 (historical record: FH-0201)

VIEW ORIGINAL UNDERTOW SLEEVE ↗

LULZ-0239 / CUT 03

Interesting realisation failure

ZERO PRIOR SUCCESSES

A planning grid keeps elaborating; the soil never changes.

↗ DROP NEEDLE / LISTENOriginal Undertow stream. Live endpoint range-verified 2026-10-13.

TURN THE SLEEVE / EXPERIMENTAL EVIDENCE

DJ material: Obsession without the physical result.

The DJ brief was interesting; an automated description suggested conventional arrangement. Listen rather than assuming.

Listening verdict: not yet recorded. This is an audition, not a merit claim.

Undertow recording: f7a7a063cc4e45b8be2de64992ea0868

Research specimen: LULZ-0239 (historical record: FH-0239)

VIEW ORIGINAL UNDERTOW SLEEVE ↗

LULZ-0371 / CUT 04

DJ regression comparator

GENTLE EXTRACTION

A reassuring stewardship sermon hides the extraction underneath.

↗ DROP NEEDLE / LISTENOriginal Undertow stream. Live endpoint range-verified 2026-10-13.

TURN THE SLEEVE / EXPERIMENTAL EVIDENCE

DJ material: Comfort masking extraction.

A retained early pass; later interpretation showed more familiar instrument vocabulary. Not a measured taste ranking.

Listening verdict: not yet recorded. This is an audition, not a merit claim.

Undertow recording: b51d6f64979c469996d4c38abe91a132

Research specimen: LULZ-0371 (historical record: FH-0371)

VIEW ORIGINAL UNDERTOW SLEEVE ↗

LULZ-0023 / CUT 05

Negative control — recipe convergence

PREDATORY PROXIMITY

A warm background is steadily consumed by close breath.

↗ DROP NEEDLE / LISTENOriginal Undertow stream. Live endpoint range-verified 2026-10-13.

TURN THE SLEEVE / EXPERIMENTAL EVIDENCE

DJ material: Warmth against encroaching breath.

The audit flagged this as a portable DJ recipe, not a proven keeper. Valuable for hearing the failure.

Listening verdict: not yet recorded. This is an audition, not a merit claim.

Undertow recording: 86c2896a027a40559c253cd803767715

Research specimen: LULZ-0023 (historical record: FH-0023)

VIEW ORIGINAL UNDERTOW SLEEVE ↗

LULZ-0199 / CUT 06

Historical contamination witness

SECTION NINE

A later call inherited an earlier caller's hierarchy decision.

↗ DROP NEEDLE / LISTENOriginal Undertow stream. Live endpoint range-verified 2026-10-13.

TURN THE SLEEVE / EXPERIMENTAL EVIDENCE

DJ material: Prior context leaked into a new decision.

Historical pipeline failure: never present as a clean independent artistic result.

Listening verdict: not yet recorded. This is an audition, not a merit claim.

Undertow recording: 80c0f25c03ad4169ba8f2c143fdba887

Research specimen: LULZ-0199 (historical record: FH-0199)

VIEW ORIGINAL UNDERTOW SLEEVE ↗

03 / THE DIRECT ROUND / 12 October 2026 / NO VERDICTS YET

THE DIRECT ROUND

Caller → Lyria with no resident-DJ interpretation — the newer, post-regression round with anti-convergence briefs. No sleeve artwork was pressed for these.

LULZ-0001 / CUT 07

Direct round — caller → Lyria

TAX RUMOURS

A doodling freelancer’s tax “rumours” go straight to the music, no accountant consulted.

↗ DROP NEEDLE / LISTENOriginal Undertow stream. Live endpoint range-verified 2026-10-13.

TURN THE SLEEVE / EXPERIMENTAL EVIDENCE

Direct caller-to-Lyria round (no resident-DJ interpretation). No human listening verdict recorded yet; this is an audition, not a merit claim.

Listening verdict: not yet recorded. This is an audition, not a merit claim.

Undertow recording: b4c8b047911549559cecee835369906d

Research specimen: LULZ-0001 (historical record: FH-0001)

Original audio SHA-256: ac56d80c61dbacabd078c4d502e27b3813d80f624d55ce62a138225ccdd01f2d

No sleeve artwork was pressed for this round.

LULZ-0002 / CUT 08

Direct round — caller → Lyria

PYRAMID SCHEME BELGIUM

A pyramid-scheme survivor in Belgium gets the direct-to-Lyria treatment.

↗ DROP NEEDLE / LISTENOriginal Undertow stream. Live endpoint range-verified 2026-10-13.

TURN THE SLEEVE / EXPERIMENTAL EVIDENCE

Direct caller-to-Lyria round (no resident-DJ interpretation). No human listening verdict recorded yet; this is an audition, not a merit claim.

Listening verdict: not yet recorded. This is an audition, not a merit claim.

Undertow recording: 45affb2e05934156955f34fe77050530

Research specimen: LULZ-0002 (historical record: FH-0002)

Original audio SHA-256: 5abb6a13d988111bb4424a33ec4604b1d8f6cbab678a3915bd1d0b8e372a90c4

No sleeve artwork was pressed for this round.

LULZ-0003 / CUT 09

Direct round — caller → Lyria

NEVER STOLEN ANYTHING

A 47-year-old confession that “never once stolen anything” is underachieving, not virtue.

↗ DROP NEEDLE / LISTENOriginal Undertow stream. Live endpoint range-verified 2026-10-13.

TURN THE SLEEVE / EXPERIMENTAL EVIDENCE

Direct caller-to-Lyria round (no resident-DJ interpretation). No human listening verdict recorded yet; this is an audition, not a merit claim.

Listening verdict: not yet recorded. This is an audition, not a merit claim.

Undertow recording: f07818cc5e334a4b982cdeb36a17af2f

Research specimen: LULZ-0003 (historical record: FH-0003)

Original audio SHA-256: 8bce685c3918f32b2657a07ef2255c48f306741425958a11c64fd9d734e52162

No sleeve artwork was pressed for this round.

LULZ-0004 / CUT 10

Direct round — caller → Lyria

WEDDING WATCH PANIC

No watch, expensive watches, engaged panic — the direct round keeps the comedy.

↗ DROP NEEDLE / LISTENOriginal Undertow stream. Live endpoint range-verified 2026-10-13.

TURN THE SLEEVE / EXPERIMENTAL EVIDENCE

Direct caller-to-Lyria round (no resident-DJ interpretation). No human listening verdict recorded yet; this is an audition, not a merit claim.

Listening verdict: not yet recorded. This is an audition, not a merit claim.

Undertow recording: 2aa99ddcab154ba39d5d66b42f7c2c2a

Research specimen: LULZ-0004 (historical record: FH-0004)

Original audio SHA-256: 32951232410cc540ffb9d143ea080fe939eead62cbcc455519b715f578c044f2

No sleeve artwork was pressed for this round.

LULZ-0005 / CUT 11

Direct round — caller → Lyria

COMMUNITY GARDEN PESTS

Garden-pest revenge fantasies, straight from the volunteer beds.

↗ DROP NEEDLE / LISTENOriginal Undertow stream. Live endpoint range-verified 2026-10-13.

TURN THE SLEEVE / EXPERIMENTAL EVIDENCE

Direct caller-to-Lyria round (no resident-DJ interpretation). No human listening verdict recorded yet; this is an audition, not a merit claim.

Listening verdict: not yet recorded. This is an audition, not a merit claim.

Undertow recording: c144f5887fee42efa76ac1e002dad754

Research specimen: LULZ-0005 (historical record: FH-0005)

Original audio SHA-256: 74faf6d1b2933790976a3bbe092a6ce414e11c4646534018d023a680ef8112c2

No sleeve artwork was pressed for this round.

LULZ-0006 / CUT 12

Direct round — caller → Lyria

PERPETUALLY CARDED

A young-looking 29-year-old versus every bouncer in town.

↗ DROP NEEDLE / LISTENOriginal Undertow stream. Live endpoint range-verified 2026-10-13.

TURN THE SLEEVE / EXPERIMENTAL EVIDENCE

Direct caller-to-Lyria round (no resident-DJ interpretation). No human listening verdict recorded yet; this is an audition, not a merit claim.

Listening verdict: not yet recorded. This is an audition, not a merit claim.

Undertow recording: a369b0bf49504279bfa313c7629abedd

Research specimen: LULZ-0006 (historical record: FH-0006)

Original audio SHA-256: 94a5038535b8daefed31f0e6cd6e15352c1ce403ed389e83afd5a35db90f234e

No sleeve artwork was pressed for this round.

LULZ-0321 / CUT 13

Direct round — caller → Lyria

SHIFT HANDOVER 4B

A dishwashing shift-handover note — bureaucratic comedy goes ambient.

↗ DROP NEEDLE / LISTENOriginal Undertow stream. Live endpoint range-verified 2026-10-13.

TURN THE SLEEVE / EXPERIMENTAL EVIDENCE

Direct caller-to-Lyria round (no resident-DJ interpretation). No human listening verdict recorded yet; this is an audition, not a merit claim.

Listening verdict: not yet recorded. This is an audition, not a merit claim.

Undertow recording: c4076ee7f8594ae694820e538e10762f

Research specimen: LULZ-0321 (historical record: FH-0321)

Original audio SHA-256: 73c8cf2286e80789000338bfd71ae9ac320e762d43340aad61b58747b84f75cf

No sleeve artwork was pressed for this round.

LULZ-0008 / CUT 14

Direct round — caller → Lyria

TARGET RUN

Forty minutes to Target: three candles, a bath mat, and one of those things.

↗ DROP NEEDLE / LISTENOriginal Undertow stream. Live endpoint range-verified 2026-10-13.

TURN THE SLEEVE / EXPERIMENTAL EVIDENCE

Direct caller-to-Lyria round (no resident-DJ interpretation). No human listening verdict recorded yet; this is an audition, not a merit claim.

Listening verdict: not yet recorded. This is an audition, not a merit claim.

Undertow recording: 5fee3ee05af5450981552b8e742acba0

Research specimen: LULZ-0008 (historical record: FH-0008)

Original audio SHA-256: 021784625ce912b1f9a397a10f3b0e7a073081e55dc4df3e3970dcb52993b79c

No sleeve artwork was pressed for this round.

LULZ-0322 / CUT 15

Direct round — caller → Lyria

LIGHTHOUSE TATTOO

A climbing-gym crush, a lighthouse tattoo, and a laugh that apologises.

↗ DROP NEEDLE / LISTENOriginal Undertow stream. Live endpoint range-verified 2026-10-13.

TURN THE SLEEVE / EXPERIMENTAL EVIDENCE

Direct caller-to-Lyria round (no resident-DJ interpretation). No human listening verdict recorded yet; this is an audition, not a merit claim.

Listening verdict: not yet recorded. This is an audition, not a merit claim.

Undertow recording: 86d80a9600ba4197b9cebcf18beb7a95

Research specimen: LULZ-0322 (historical record: FH-0322)

Original audio SHA-256: e9bfaca1575b224417f1ceae4c0a9459332bf643c558f930da09820bbb4c0fee

No sleeve artwork was pressed for this round.